


they are going through the unimaginable

by reymanova (costiellie)



Series: forgiveness (can you imagine) [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Multi, could be read as Fitzskimmons if you wanted to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:09:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/costiellie/pseuds/reymanova
Summary: Canon compliant as of 5x22. Wherein Daisy struggles with her relationship with Fitz after his death / oh-wait-he's-frozen-in-space-we-gotta-find-him, and Jemma cannot stand to see her two best friends mad at each other.Unbeta'ed, because ain't nobody got time for that.Title from It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton, because suffering.





	they are going through the unimaginable

Daisy sits on a box of medical supplies in the garage of the Zephyr. The room feels too big, but she can’t find it in her to move. She stares down her ICER, like if she looks long enough it will talk to her. 

It doesn’t. 

She hears the soft fall of footsteps entering the room. Daisy knows it’s Jemma without looking up. No one walks that softly, now that May’s gone. The footsteps stop.

“Are you going to leave SHIELD? Once we find him?” Daisy says abruptly, finally looking up and meeting Jemma’s wide-eyed gaze.

“I… maybe.” She swallows. “Probably.”

Daisy wants to ask what Jemma would do if they never find him, but she knows better. She’s also pretty sure she already knows the answer. So instead, she nods. “Will… will you leave right away?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should,” Daisy says, too quickly. 

“Why?”

Daisy shrugs, trying to play off her too-fast answer. “I… I don’t know. You deserve peace, Jemma. And this life can’t give it to you.”

Jemma nods knowingly. “You don’t want to face Fitz.”

Daisy snaps back up to look at Jemma. “What? No, you deserve a life where you don't fear for your safety at every waking hour.”

Jemma sits down on the box, nudging Daisy, who moves over begrudgingly. "But you also don't want to face Fitz."

Daisy knows there's no point in lying anymore. Jemma knows her too well. “I’ll help you find him. But I don’t know if I…” She shakes her head. “I can’t face him. I don’t know how you…” She trails off.

Gently, Jemma asks, “How I what, Daisy?”

Daisy sighs. “You know what’s inside of him, what he's done. You know the Doctor is in there. How can you still love him?”

“In the same way _you_ still love him. If you didn’t still love him, Daisy, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“No. I can never forgive him.”

A silence settles over the room like a fog. Dark. Heavy. 

Jemma reaches into her pocket and pulls out Fitz’s wedding ring. His blood is still on it. She clutches it tightly. “I love him because he’s smart. Smarter than me.” Daisy raises an eyebrow. Jemma smiles. “Okay, I’m better at chemistry. But he has this ability to work out any problem. To build anything. I’ve never met anyone whose neurons fired faster than his.”

She holds the ring up to the light. “I love him because he loves so deeply. His heart is even bigger than his brain. He feels so much. Too much, sometimes. He thinks his temper comes from his dad, but he’s wrong. He has a temper because he feels so intensely. Because he cares so much.” She takes a shaky breath. Daisy wants to hold her hand, but something holds her back. How can she comfort Jemma about her loss when she herself is still angry at the one who died?

“I love him because he sees the best in people,” Jemma says, “even if he can’t do the same for himself. Because he believes in the good in people, more than anyone else I’ve ever met. He will stick with the people he loves long after everyone else is gone. He’s so stubborn.” Jemma glances at Daisy’s ICER and laughs, watery. She reaches out, and Daisy hands it to her. “I had to fight tooth and nail for him not to call this the Night-Night Gun. The whole argument was so stupid. He wouldn't budge. But the fact that he insisted on making it at all... I love him because he was always trying to protect people. To save people."

She flips the gun over and runs her finger along it. “He doesn’t always do the right thing. And he doesn’t always walk the right path. I don’t agree with everything he does. But I love him because his heart is _always_ in the right place." She turns to look Daisy in the eye. "Loving Fitz is not easy. He will always challenge you, and frustrate you, and drive you absolutely out of your mind. But loving Fitz is worth it.”

Jemma hands back the ICER. “But you already knew all that.”

Daisy shakes her head. “I still don’t think I can forgive him.”

“You know, he said that about you once. You two are just… you’re so much like each other. What the two of you have had to go through… I can’t imagine. I love both of you, so much, and I will always be there for both of you. But the bond you and Fitz once had… that’s not a hole I can fill. I can't be your Fitz."

"Yes, you can," Daisy says, but her voice betrays her lack of confidence in her own words. 

Jemma shakes her head. "When you went through terrigenesis, it wasn’t me by your side. It wasn’t me who understood. It was Fitz. You need each other.”

Daisy blinks back tears. Jemma reaches out and takes her hand. “Do you really want it to end like this?” Daisy shakes her head. “So don’t let it.”

“I’m not as good at forgiving people as you are.”

Jemma nods. “It’ll take time. And probably a lot of yelling and throwing things and crying.”

“On whose part?”

Jemma laughs. “But we’re a family. We care about each other. And we fight for each other.”

Daisy reaches out and hugs Jemma, tight. If Jemma notices the tears Daisy is getting on her shirt, she doesn’t say anything. “I can’t lose him.”

“He’s not gone yet.” She squeezes her tighter. “He’s not gone yet.”

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Writing? What? I needed to write and all of my original stuff is all knotted up and/or just out of reach right now, so I went to what I know.
> 
> On a side note, I do still plan to finish my Princess Diaries 2 AU. Not sure when it’ll happen, but I’m getting better at writing more consistently, so hopefully I will pick it back up soon.


End file.
